Scoring
Reporter: “That was some bold playcalling going for the punchline on 2nd down. Tell us what was going through your mind”
Problems With Authority
If you bamboozle the police, they have to let you go. It’s the law.
Ham Time
It’s a ham-handed metaphor for the publishing experience
Wannabe
Man, this guy really hasn’t been on his game since he lost that gold fiddle down in Georgia
Fear Itself
At least my subconscious thinks I’m far enough in the lead to get hit with one of these.
Twue Wuv
The wedding reception was a blast. Only a few people got horribly injured.
Impressionable
I also have unrealistic expectations of Italian plumbers and hedgehogs but whatever
Survival of the Fittest
For science!
Partner In Crime
Trust me, you don’t even want to meet my version of the Pillsbury Doughboy
Unfinished Business
I’m not saying I *will* come back as a ghost, but I am saying if I do, this will be why.
Descriptive
Telling me not to is only gonna make me want to do it more, my dude
Brain Fart
E for effort, brain
Force Sliding Into DMs
No, I will not apologize
Super Drunk
Faster than a speeding bullet. More hammered than a nail. OH HEY, I’ve been getting the word out via social media, but I’ll be at Connecticon next week (holy shit). If you’re going, you can catch me at booth AC208 in the Artists’ Colony. Hopefully see you there!
Miscommunication
Ok, but Alexa, order like 20 pizzas. Extra regular.
TMI
What has 2 thumbs and 8 other fingers? This guyyyyyyy *jazz hands*
Honor Bound
If two kids say their dad can beat up the other, both dads have to fight in the underground dad fighting circuit. Those are the rules.
Therapeutic
And before anyone points out that the Monkees originally did that song, know that I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
Updates
Yes I think the Monopoly guy is the one that calls the shots at the company don’t @ me
Hot Air
Oh hey, a callback to a joke I made *squints* …over 2 years ago? Jfc, someone slap the stylus out of my hand.