Staying Current
That poor phone has been trying to update for months now
Killer Performance
The real problem here is that Thanos can’t hold a tune. And also him murdering the entire universe.
Fresh Start
Out with the old beatings, in with the new beatings
Sleigher
Behold, the true spirit of Christmas
Heated
We are all this snowman
Own Worst Enemy
Wait until it dawns on the clone that he’s not talking to the original, and that he is just the next in a long line of clones who have given up.
Asleep At The Wheel
And that’s how shooting stars are formed. People being bad at Mario Kart. It’s just science.
Trojan Horse
Based on true story (minus the brick throwing).
Thanksgiving Mood
That’s my secret, Cap. I always feel like it’s Thanksgiving at 8:00 PM.
Prizefighter
Free punches? These deals are amazing!
Brute Force
IT IS NOT MY PASSWORD THAT IS TOO WEAK, COMPUTER, IT IS YOU WHO ARE TOO WEAK
Groundhog Day
Not the typical comic, but I felt I had to do it, for better or worse. Alarmingly Bad will resume its usual tomfoolery next week. In the meantime, if you’re not happy with how things are and you’re registered to vote in the US, then fucking vote on November 6th: https://www.vote.org/
Haunted
In life, Heckle Ghost was a Muppet sitting in a balcony
Thriller
Baited.
Courage
Assert your dominance by firing guns at the top of a mountain
Literally
“So is it be rude to ask you for a ride home? What’s the etiquette here?”
Scoring
Reporter: “That was some bold playcalling going for the punchline on 2nd down. Tell us what was going through your mind”
Problems With Authority
If you bamboozle the police, they have to let you go. It’s the law.
Ham Time
It’s a ham-handed metaphor for the publishing experience
Wannabe
Man, this guy really hasn’t been on his game since he lost that gold fiddle down in Georgia