Alarmingly Bad Comic Archive

This is where they come from, right?

Objectification

I’m totally going to hell for this one.

I think he's only mad because she isn't sharing

Pizza Time

The lesson here is every restaurant should be serving pizza.

There's a legitimate reason nobody expects them when they show up to places: they're assholes and nobody likes them.

Fear And Surprise

I will go to any length for a dumb joke.

90% of success in life is showing up. The other 10% is staying alive.

Protest

I CAN’T HEAR YOU

When life hands you a goat, make goat adventures

Problem Solving

Whatever. It’s still technically transportation.

Go ahead, make my breakfast

Bread On Arrival

The Good, The Bad and The Gluten

Oh you want to be able to get out? That's extra.

Satisfaction Guaranteed

Craigslist, but for bad ideas

He also sings Itsy Bitsy Spider during colonoscopies

What It’s All About

With a name like that, he was destined for this profession.

At least you weren't sending out FarmVille requests to your friends

Bad Dream

Truly, a nightmare.

So crazy to think most people are born with two webcams in their face.

Seeing Clearly

Hindsight is 20/20. Or 1, if you know how fractions work.

"I'll be sure to bring a note in from my doctor, Dr. Pepper"

Excuses

I’m just not feeling funky fresh enough to be there today, sir.

"Programming them was the hardest part. Not the not having any shame."

Sending A Message

If Apple would just come out with a headband, I wouldn’t have to do this.

Next you're gonna tell me I have to have actual conversations with old family members

Knock Knock Knockin’

You would think the reception would be good up here.

We're gonna need something bigger to swat this one

Hanging Around

I mean, legally, he’s allowed to do whatever a spider can.

When you get even older it becomes cool to cry all the time again.

Maturity (The Guide)

IKEA instructions for life (I’ve never been able to follow IKEA instructions)

Don't make me use the clean one.

Kill Switch

Somebody Kickstart this, please.

GIVE ME THE GODDAMNED TOY

Priorities

It *says* ages 5+. I’m clearly over the limit.

That's just, like, your medical opinion, man

Bones

He’s like if WebMD was a person.

I think the reason he charges so much is because he secretly hates me

Fight Me

This is not constructive. Are you sure you’re even a real doctor?

Vomit Zone: Act 1

Spin Cycle

Gotta go fAUGHURHGHRHUAH Hey! I’ll be at PAX East this weekend in Boston on Friday and Saturday! If you see me, say hi! Also, if you see me, I’ll be freaked out because there’s a good chance you shouldn’t know what I look like!