Alarmingly Bad Comic Archive

He also sings Itsy Bitsy Spider during colonoscopies

What It’s All About

With a name like that, he was destined for this profession.

At least you weren't sending out FarmVille requests to your friends

Bad Dream

Truly, a nightmare.

So crazy to think most people are born with two webcams in their face.

Seeing Clearly

Hindsight is 20/20. Or 1, if you know how fractions work.

"I'll be sure to bring a note in from my doctor, Dr. Pepper"

Excuses

I’m just not feeling funky fresh enough to be there today, sir.

"Programming them was the hardest part. Not the not having any shame."

Sending A Message

If Apple would just come out with a headband, I wouldn’t have to do this.

Next you're gonna tell me I have to have actual conversations with old family members

Knock Knock Knockin’

You would think the reception would be good up here.

We're gonna need something bigger to swat this one

Hanging Around

I mean, legally, he’s allowed to do whatever a spider can.

When you get even older it becomes cool to cry all the time again.

Maturity (The Guide)

IKEA instructions for life (I’ve never been able to follow IKEA instructions)

Don't make me use the clean one.

Kill Switch

Somebody Kickstart this, please.

GIVE ME THE GODDAMNED TOY

Priorities

It *says* ages 5+. I’m clearly over the limit.

That's just, like, your medical opinion, man

Bones

He’s like if WebMD was a person.

I think the reason he charges so much is because he secretly hates me

Fight Me

This is not constructive. Are you sure you’re even a real doctor?

Vomit Zone: Act 1

Spin Cycle

Gotta go fAUGHURHGHRHUAH Hey! I’ll be at PAX East this weekend in Boston on Friday and Saturday! If you see me, say hi! Also, if you see me, I’ll be freaked out because there’s a good chance you shouldn’t know what I look like!

...so anyway, that's how I ended up at Taco Bell.

Best Intentions

Whatever. I tried.

WEY-HEY, LET'S DOODLE MORE DICKS

The Best Answer

Honestly, why are there even other verses to this song?

Cut it out with the hair puns, Jon

Mull It Over

It’s just a little off over the top.

There are two types of people in this world: those who think Thin Mints are the best Girl Scout cookie, and those who are wrong

False Advertising

Much like this website, I need cookies to run properly.

It's even funnier to imagine Vader's the only one in the Empire who bowls on these lanes

Stylish And Functional

I mean, who doesn’t like to unwind after a busy day by inflicting some light violence on your own army?

I got us into this problem, I'll get us out of it *unzips pants again*

Technical Difficulties

I thought those “High Voltage” signs were the toilet’s difficulty setting…

-Sent via this brick

High Impact Communications

I can usually respond to about 50 emails a day before my arm gets tired.