You are what you eat.  That's why he's really fucking dumb.

Book Smarts

You are what you eat.  That’s why he’s really fucking dumb.

FUN FACT: Atoms generally don't throw bad parties

Split

FUN FACT: Atoms generally don’t throw bad parties

Schrodinger's threesome

Smooth

Schrodinger’s threesome

"I guess what I'm saying is we are the scariest monsters of all. Anyway, here's some candy"

Frightening

“I guess what I’m saying is we are the scariest monsters of all. Anyway, here’s some candy”

So, uh, does Steve like to watch?

Roommate

So, uh, does Steve like to watch?

HaVe YoU tRiEd CoUnTiNg ShEeP?

Insomnia

HaVe YoU tRiEd CoUnTiNg ShEeP?

I'm so much more comfortable taking an insult than taking a compliment.

Etiquette

I’m so much more comfortable taking an insult than taking a compliment.