Monsters

Rip and tear until about 8:00 PM, then it’s bed time kiddo you have school in the morning

Elevator

I’m going to be *so* cringe, Kiddo

Five fish, eight fish, thirteen fish, twenty-one fish

What?

I sometimes worry my daughter will turn out like me.

Nah, just kidding. The world’ll be on fire by then.

Oh no, she’s my kid.

Daddy’s little angel (of death).

To be fair, it is a great name for a unicorn.

Paper is a lover, not a fighter.